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Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx9ocubowMs&fs=1&hl=en_US]

This you tube video ia all about love. Authentic love is all about embracing the imperfections of someone else. So many of my younger clients seem to be on a path of requiring perfection in a partner. Nobody gets all the pieces of the pie.

Too many of us strive for perfectionism, pretending that we can obtain this rare state. Perfectionism erases vulnerability which erases connections. Connections mean accepting the whole of the other person, farts and all.

Perfectionism is a very powerful internal machine that is exhausting and harsh. The impossibility of perfectionism can lead to a lot of self-destructive behavior. Is there really one correct way to fold towels? Is there really only one person on the planet you are meant to be with? Is there such a thing as the perfect holiday gathering?

I think ordinary works just fine. False expectations fuel disappointment. How many people create their disappointment because they imagine they can have an abundance of good things…….

The truth is we sleep with partners who snore and fart just like we do. The woman in the video is lucky because she is clear she was lucky to be with her imperfect partner.

This is a chinese government tv commercial. I find it refreshing. Hollywood consistently makes love too impossibly perfect. In It’s Complicated Meryl Streep has a great kitchen and she dumps it to build a perfect one, she works and never sweats, she has not one man to choose from but two. How many people in the USA does this movie reflect? No one I know.

Learning to live with our own imperfections and the imperfections of others is the stuff of life. Sharing our stories of imperfections to people who matter is what life is about.

I got an 8″ high statue of a fat cowgirl from my son-in-law for Christmas which he found hilarious because he knows how I don’t want to exercise. I give exercise more lip service than action where as, he’s pretty dedicated. So maybe the statue will be a source of inspiration…..or not. At least my family knows who I am and how to tease me with affection. My niece took pictures on my cell of everyone holding the statue to continue the attention to my own imperfections. I can live with it because it’s the truth.

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