• Too Many are Lost in Fantasy & Too Many Lack Imagination

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 20, 2018
    • 0

    Fantasy leads too many on a wild goose chase & imagination is too easily stifled. What an interesting polarity of both the trouble fantasy can cause & how important imagination can be to explore the possibilities life offers. Both of these are true at the same time. Let’s explore the… Continue Reading

  • Couples Never Fighting=Not a Good Thing

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 22, 2015
    • 0

    "I’m not ready to make nice, I’m not ready to back down." The Dixie Chicks If you never fight, then nobody’s home. Trouble in relationships is always about the extremes. It's just as problematic as fighting all the time because both lack respect for two people. Often couples arrive in… Continue Reading

  • Anxiety, Shoulds, Duty & Exaggerated Obligation

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 28, 2014
    • 0

    Anxiety is the biggest problem I work with. Anxiety is a huge issue for tons of people. Anxiety means that fear drives your choices. Fear based choices make your world too small & tight which offers a false sense of safety. Often anxious people solve their fears with planning, controlling… Continue Reading

  • OCD & learning more about it leads to Control

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 15, 2014
    • 0

    OCD isn't just about washing your hands like Lady Macbeth. OCD is the disease of anxiety on steroids. Fear is in charge & by thinking obsessively or following compulsive rituals you create a sense of "safety" which is stolen from fear. The French once called OCD ‘la folie de doute’… Continue Reading

  • Feel Overwhelmed by Emotions? You are Not Alone!

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 10, 2014
    • 0

    Feeling overwhelmed by feelings with no clue how to manage them is at the core of addiction problems. A central problem of anxiety is being to easily swamped by fears. In depression it is feeling devastated by despair & hopelessness. Many people are overpowered by their anger as evidenced by… Continue Reading

  • Relationships in Addictions (Understanding Codependency Works Both Ways)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 28, 2013
    • 0

    Relationships with an addictive partner often have a pattern that both partners create together. The non-addict has an enormous number of expectations with so many ideas of how life is supposed to be lived. The addict is often buried in Silence and slinks around to get their needs met through… Continue Reading

  • Marijuana Use Daily; A Problem?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 18, 2013
    • 0

    Marijuana is a problem because you feel good without doing anything. Love of marijuana often goes along with a lot of coasting in life; sidestepping goals & not working too hard on studying because you are satisfied with just getting by. Life is a lot of hard work and we adore… Continue Reading

  • Two Stressful Paths that Anxiety Travels Upon

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 8, 2013
    • 0

    One path is to be the kind, thoughtful people pleasing person who wants to be liked so they often have a hard time being genuine. The other path is to be irritable, impatient & cranky in order to be impervious. Both paths have piles of fear & insecurities underneath. The… Continue Reading

  • When Control is Ugly & Evolves into Abuse Part 2

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 30, 2012
    • 0

    Working at Pittsburgh Action Against Rape to develop the Incest Program in the early 80's I learned a lot about ugly levels of power & control in a relationship. Abuse is a word I am careful with. There is physical, emotional & verbal abuse and also neglect. There is a… Continue Reading

  • Are You Controlling to Reduce Anxiety? Part 1

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 21, 2012
    • 0

    Control means you like power. Everybody likes power. It is the nature of human relationships to struggle for power at work, at home or with friends. Some people have power in passive aggressive ways; "I'll smile at you now & undermine you later." Some people withhold information. Some people blow… Continue Reading