• Avoiding Emotions Crushes Relationships

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 26, 2011
    • 0

    "This (Washington D.C. ) is the most emotionally avoidant city in America."  David Brooks So many young people question whether it's even possible to have better than an average marriage. All kinds of people stay in half-baked relationships. People drift away from friendship without a single word of explanation. A… Continue Reading

  • We All Want to be Understood

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 20, 2011
    • 0

    "All of us are caught up in what Brooks calls 'the loneliness loop.' What drives us ultimately, is the need to feel understood by others."  3/7/11 Newsweek article on David Brooks & his new book The Social Animal Sometimes the impossibility of communicating accurately is overwhelming. Feeling understood is basic… Continue Reading

  • Parents & their Superficial Relationships with their Adult Children

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 24, 2011
    • 0

    Intimacy requires the  authenticity of disagreement, conflict and sharing the painful bits of life. It is impossible to be close to anyone without the truths that emerge from conflict. How can you really know anyone if you just settle for the superficial? Facebook & texting are tailor-made to keep things… Continue Reading

  • Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 10, 2011
    • 0

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx9ocubowMs&fs=1&hl=en_US] This you tube video ia all about love. Authentic love is all about embracing the imperfections of someone else. So many of my younger clients seem to be on a path of requiring perfection in a partner. Nobody gets all the pieces of the pie. Too many of us… Continue Reading

  • New Website Page On Shame & Perfectionism Worth Reading

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 6, 2011
    • 0

    "Perfectionism is a 200 lb. Shield." Dr.Brene Brown In the past 3 days I've worked with 15 different people on the issue of perfectionism. I watch someone I love in life struggle with it. It's very hard to effectively change. On my previous post I embedded a TED talk by… Continue Reading

  • It’s Deadly to be Either Too Nice or Too Demanding

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 16, 2010
    • 0

    Nice guys finish last in relationships. This means you aren't making enough clear statements about who you are and what you want. Too often nice guys will hide their own wants in a question. So they ask, "Will you have the kids fed?" instead of the more authentic statement, "I'd… Continue Reading

  • Fighting Couples & Communication

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • July 16, 2010
    • 0

    One of my objectives in couples therapyidea is trying to encourage both people to feel safe enough to speak from a more vulnerable place. This can be very hard to do because of defensiveness and a history of unresolved problems. There is some exciting new research that may help couples… Continue Reading

  • It’s Hard to Witness Pain

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • July 10, 2010
    • 0

    Witnessing profound pain is something I do every day. I've literally spent decades doing it. I've been at the hospital with rape victims, visiting women in prison, with children and adults who have been violently sexually abused and want no one to know who did it, with parents who've lost… Continue Reading

  • 3 Problems When You Bash Your Partner

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 13, 2010
    • 0

    It is so easy to complain. Many women bash their partner to their girlfriends. Whining to someone else rather than having a truthful dialogue with your partner is not a good idea. Reading an entire stack of books that places all the blame on one person is a tragic stance.… Continue Reading

  • Relationships are About Building Bridges

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 24, 2010
    • 0

    Relationships succeed if there is respect for differences. They fail if there is not. Two people, no matter how much alike, are not clones. In Pittsburgh, we are a city of bridges because we sit in a triangle of three rivers. Many of our bridges are very beautiful. The 16th… Continue Reading

FOR SALE NEW CHILDREN’S BOOK FOR AGES 4-10

13 THINGS YOU CAN DO to IMPROVE YOUR IDENTITY

Download your FREE checklist