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It has become ordinary to send a text to break up or to say I love you for the first time. It's a way to play it safe and escape from difficult emotions. Breaking up by text avoids the hard parts of rejection. Avoiding the hard parts is what emotional… Continue Reading
When you are wrapped up in your own pile of hurt, it's almost impossible to see the other person clearly. Taking things personally is like taking a hammer to hurt your own hand, which is a very bad idea. Hurt becomes a false cocoon of "safety" that really demolishes any… Continue Reading
In my work with families and couples, I experience most people communicating in parallel monologues. Neither person is able to absorb, digest or really appreciate a point of view that is opposite of their own. Both people are so filled up with their own thoughts and feelings there is simply… Continue Reading
If you grew up unable to trust one parent in childhood it makes things difficult to figure out in the present. If you grew up unable to trust two parents in childhood it means trust can be a complete mystery. Sometimes trust is confusing because of a trauma when you… Continue Reading
If someone is single a long time they are used to having things work in a certain way. If two people fall in love later in life it will require more sacrifice than either person realizes or is prepared for. Things will often fall apart because neither person is ready… Continue Reading
My husband and I grew up with a sense of obligation to be with our parents. It is interesting that neither of us was ever able to move very far beyond that. So it came as a surprise when I asked my son how he felt when we visited him… Continue Reading
Friday Night Lights is a very special show. I ask both teens and parents to watch it. This show addresses the complexity of both adult and adolescent points of view and gets it right. The writers are psychologically astute and it’s well acted. A couple of weeks ago the coach’s… Continue Reading
[caption id="attachment_53" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Senator Blaine Mayer of 24"][/caption] Success in a relationship is not about two people being alike. Success is about how a couple make their differences work for both people. Differences are inspiring because they keep things interesting. Imagine a television show or a play without conflict,… Continue Reading
