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There's an old joke that women like silent men because they think they're listening. My experience is that the opposite is true. When men are silent about their wants everyone suffers. Women are often able to talk to their girlfriends about everything and anything (Sex in the City is evidence… Continue Reading
Never underestimate the legacy of alcoholism on many generations in the same family. It's a disease that extracts an excruciating price. Mothers leave children behind, fathers are fetched out of bars by elementary school kids, money disappears in a pile of empty promises and that's just the beginning. Alcohol becomes… Continue Reading
Anger is a tricky business. Anger is important to adolescents because it creates distance and a sense of power when they are frustrated by parents. Anger is an important tool when used constructively. Anger is about making room for the differences. When anger is ugly it erases people and the… Continue Reading
I begin with a quote from the 2008 Pulitzer Prize winning Olive Kitteridge: Fiction by Elizabeth Strout: "...then Olive felt something she had not expected to feel again: a sudden surging greediness for life...She remembered what hope was, and this was it. That inner churning that moves you forward, plows… Continue Reading
My husband and I grew up with a sense of obligation to be with our parents. It is interesting that neither of us was ever able to move very far beyond that. So it came as a surprise when I asked my son how he felt when we visited him… Continue Reading
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wA756Iyy0KM] It's a terrible thing to battle breast cancer, the discovery of your husband's affair and the possibility the child is his all at the same time. It's a lot to pile on any one person, so I hesitate to add to the pile, but nowhere do I see any… Continue Reading
Anxiety is the most common problem seen in my line of work. It seems to be a struggle earlier in life for more and more children. Teens who are perfectionists really get beaten up by their own expectations. Perfectionism, obsessing, pervasive self-doubt, fear of encountering either the larger world or… Continue Reading
Friday Night Lights is a very special show. I ask both teens and parents to watch it. This show addresses the complexity of both adult and adolescent points of view and gets it right. The writers are psychologically astute and it’s well acted. A couple of weeks ago the coach’s… Continue Reading
[caption id="attachment_53" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Senator Blaine Mayer of 24"][/caption] Success in a relationship is not about two people being alike. Success is about how a couple make their differences work for both people. Differences are inspiring because they keep things interesting. Imagine a television show or a play without conflict,… Continue Reading
[caption id="attachment_41" align="alignright" width="166" caption="The Good Apprentice, by Iris Murdoch"][/caption] Moments of despair bring us closer to hard truths. We all pretend. We pretend someone we love isn't crazy, an alcoholic, or hasn't betrayed our friendship. We pretend we aren't crazy, or alcoholic or haven't betrayed a friend. In 2008… Continue Reading
