• Couples Never Fighting=Not a Good Thing

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 22, 2015
    • 0

    "I’m not ready to make nice, I’m not ready to back down." The Dixie Chicks If you never fight, then nobody’s home. Trouble in relationships is always about the extremes. It's just as problematic as fighting all the time because both lack respect for two people. Often couples arrive in… Continue Reading

  • Single, Dating & the movie Enough Said

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 27, 2013
    • 0

    Single & dating means surviving the awkward beginnings of relationships over & over & over again. Beginnings are often the hardest part of many things but especially in dating. Dating means two strangers begin a stiff dance of stumbling around in trying to know each other. Dating can be such… Continue Reading

  • Thinking About Single People on Valentine’s Day

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 13, 2012
    • 0

    January is often a more optimistic month than February. In January my clients have an excitement about a new year beginning and are open to possibilities that 2012 will be a better year. Then February rolls in and people feel pinched by how hard life can be and feeling discouraged… Continue Reading

  • Getting Back Together Without Making Anything Different

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 21, 2012
    • 0

    Over & over couples find themselves happy to be back in their relationships that were once thought lost. I ask, "What have you both decided will be different this time around?" Not once has anyone given me an answer. This oft-repeated experience is called premature reconciling. Both partners are caught… Continue Reading

  • Don’t Give Up On Dating! ( 9 ideas in how to to hang in there )

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 17, 2011
    • 0

    Meeting someone in a bar is unlikely to guarantee success. Online dating can be very discouraging. Many of my single clients get very hopeless about ever finding the right partner. On the holidays, it's harder to be single for many people. One example, would be parties where everybody is a… Continue Reading

  • Finding the Humor in Dating

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 13, 2011
    • 0

    I asked for this blog because I know how hard it is to persevere in dating, discouragement is ordinary. From Guest Blog Post Writer who is 32 yrs. old: I have learned to detest the grocery store. Shopping on a Sunday, by myself, dodging all of the happy couples planning… Continue Reading

  • Playing the Hero Often Makes Real Problems

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 2, 2011
    • 0

    Many relationships begin when someone wants to be rescued from their life, like Cinderella who found her prince. One way to jack up your self-esteem is to be the hero for someone else. Lenny, the hero of Super Sad True Love Story admits he has a history of dating abused… Continue Reading

  • Relationships with Emotional Distancers

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • July 21, 2011
    • 0

    These are people who maintain control & power by making distance into an art form. This means they do very little they don't want to do. Their pleasure is being in charge and not really being vulnerable to anyone else. Vulnerability costs them too much. This is the guy you've… Continue Reading

  • “He’s/She’s Really Nice” Doesn’t Mean a Thing

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 16, 2011
    • 0

    The big bad wolf was really nice to little red riding hood. So what, he ate up her grandmother. A client came in today & said she shares her "Rhodaisms" with all her friends. One of them is "He's just nice. Nice is not enough." Nice is only the surface… Continue Reading

  • Is There ANY Benefit to Divorce for the Kids?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 4, 2010
    • 0

    Working with several divorced families recently made me seriously consider this question. It's obvious that divorce is difficult for children because their whole world collapses. Often the imprint of divorce leaves major trust issues. It is ordinary for an adolescent with divorced parents to say "I'll never get married." Yet… Continue Reading