• Disappearing Love & the movie Blue Valentine

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 22, 2019
    • 0

    In this movie we watch the sparkly beginnings of love disintegrate over time. Blue Valentine captures one of the saddest aspects of life. The camera shuttles back & forth between the lovely past & tragic present. It seems so authentic it’s painful to watch. Michelle Williams asks her grandmother “How can… Continue Reading

  • The Blame Game: Demonizing the Other

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 22, 2019
    • 0

    Many of us find great comfort in demonizing our ex spouses or ex friends to make it easier to banish them from our world. This is a very 1 or 10, black or white, self serving point of view. We call this either/or thinking which is always about the extremes.… Continue Reading

  • Divorced? It’s Messy and Grief is a part of it

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 22, 2019
    • 0

    Divorced means you are wrapped up in grief because the dream of the family is lost. Being divorced is really about having a whole new world view come into play. Just like grief, being divorced takes a good amount of time to recover. It takes time to begin to think… Continue Reading

  • Divorce Spills Over On To Kids & the movie “What Maisie Knew”

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 22, 2019
    • 0

    Divorce is an opportunity for people to indulge their intensity & hoarded resentments on to everyone. Normally sane people will shriek when they meet their spouse in the grocery store. They are past caring how it looks because they are fueled by self-righteousness. Divorce is an invitation to be your… Continue Reading

  • Divorce Spills Over On To Kids & the movie “What Maisie Knew”

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 15, 2013
    • 0

    Divorce is an opportunity for people to indulge their intensity & hoarded resentments on to everyone. Normally sane people will shriek when they meet their spouse in the grocery store. They are past caring how it looks because they are fueled by self-righteousness. Divorce is an invitation to be your… Continue Reading

  • Divorced? It’s Messy and Grief is a part of it

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 11, 2013
    • 0

    Divorced means you are wrapped up in grief because the dream of the family is lost. Being divorced is really about having a whole new world view come into play. Just like grief, being divorced takes a good amount of time to recover. It takes time to begin to think… Continue Reading

  • The Blame Game: Demonizing the Other

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 14, 2012
    • 0

    Many of us find great comfort in demonizing our ex spouses or ex friends to make it easier to banish them from our world. This is a very 1 or 10, black or white, self serving point of view. We call this either/or thinking which is always about the extremes.… Continue Reading

  • Sharing your Kids with your Ex’s New Love

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 1, 2012
    • 0

    I've been through this process with many clients & it is not easy. First there is the jealousy that the new love may have something cool to offer your kids; like a swimming pool or they never seem to lose their temper. This is a very normal reaction because it's… Continue Reading

  • Disappearing Love & the movie Blue Valentine

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 15, 2011
    • 0

    In this movie we watch the sparkly beginnings of love disintegrate over time. Blue Valentine captures one of the saddest aspects of life. The camera shuttles back & forth between the lovely past & tragic present. It seems so authentic it's painful to watch. Michelle Williams asks her grandmother "How… Continue Reading

  • Ambivalent About Your Relationship?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 17, 2011
    • 0

    It can be very confusing about whether or not to stay or leave a relationship. I remember being so surprised in 1981 when a man admitted to me he'd been sleeping on the couch for 25 years. I could easily imagine how unhappy his spine was. It was not the… Continue Reading