• Michael Vick, Forgiveness & Pittsburgh

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 12, 2015
    • 0

    Forgiveness is something we have a hard time with, it seems to be very expensive real estate in the heart. We don’t forgive ourselves or others very easily. We carry on grudges for decades. I believe this is because we don’t accept the messiness of our own dark sides. In… Continue Reading

  • The Path to Improve Motivation Requires Being Authentic

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 10, 2014
    • 0

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOksW_NabEk&w=560&h=315] Motivation seems illusive for so many people. Motivation isn't simply being positive. Don't falsely perky waitresses drive you crazy because it's really all about being trained to sell an upgrade; there is nothing real about it. I contend that motivation has to be real in some way. Passion… Continue Reading

  • Feel Overwhelmed by Emotions? You are Not Alone!

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 10, 2014
    • 0

    Feeling overwhelmed by feelings with no clue how to manage them is at the core of addiction problems. A central problem of anxiety is being to easily swamped by fears. In depression it is feeling devastated by despair & hopelessness. Many people are overpowered by their anger as evidenced by… Continue Reading

  • Gratitude & the novel Behind the Beautiful Forevers

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 28, 2013
    • 0

    Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it's about gathering and gratitude. I'm in the business of self-reflection and taking time to think about what's enough seems really important. We are too often frantic; grasping for more stuff to reassure ourselves that we are successful & secure. Everyone gets some of… Continue Reading

  • Control Your Anger (how you can do it in 3 steps)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 26, 2013
    • 0

    Controlling anger can be very difficult because of passion, frustration or impatience. Your anger means that you demand being important. Controlling your anger makes relationships work better. Your anger can too easily smash others to bits because you are asking for too much. So learning to control your anger means… Continue Reading

  • Exaggerating Our Feelings Stops Us from Being Our Best Self

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 13, 2012
    • 0

    There are so many ways that feelings wreck havoc on our lives. We feel we are entitled. We feel we are right. We love to blame others instead of look at ourselves. We feel defensive. We feel sensitive. We feel self righteously angry. The list of trouble making perspectives is… Continue Reading

  • When Control is Ugly & Evolves into Abuse Part 2

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 30, 2012
    • 0

    Working at Pittsburgh Action Against Rape to develop the Incest Program in the early 80's I learned a lot about ugly levels of power & control in a relationship. Abuse is a word I am careful with. There is physical, emotional & verbal abuse and also neglect. There is a… Continue Reading

  • Shame, Self-Hatred & Self Destructiveness; Obstacles to Change

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 27, 2012
    • 0

    Shame, self-hatred & self destruction are often all intertwined. These three make the road to change an obstacle course. This is a triangle of defeat & can stop growth in its tracks. It's a trap that absorbs all of someones energy and it's hard to crawl out of..... The real… Continue Reading

  • The Blame Game: Demonizing the Other

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 14, 2012
    • 0

    Many of us find great comfort in demonizing our ex spouses or ex friends to make it easier to banish them from our world. This is a very 1 or 10, black or white, self serving point of view. We call this either/or thinking which is always about the extremes.… Continue Reading

  • People Who Won’t Apologize

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 8, 2012
    • 0

    [caption id="attachment_2431" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Drawn by Linda Wallen[/caption] There seem to be enormous numbers of people who won't apologize. Apologizing requires openness & vulnerability. Many people hide behind the fallback emotion of anger that rings falsely because it is too puffed up & noisy. Easy access to anger is all… Continue Reading