• TRAUMA & PTSD: IMPACT & HOW to COPE

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 22, 2014
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    "When I was raped I lost my virginity & almost lost my life. I also discarded certain assumptions I had held about how the world worked & about how safe I was." Alice Sebold Trauma includes experiencing the terrible sins of war, rape, or incest. Trauma makes you question the… Continue Reading

  • Emotions: What You Need to Know

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
    • 0

    "People refuse to recognize complexity, he said. What's shame in one man is grief in another, and they are not the same thing. What's pig-stupidity is cowardice in another and blind in a third, and they are not the same thing, either. You'd think that would be simple enough to… Continue Reading

  • PERFECTIONISM ERASES VULNERABILITY & SHAME

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
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    "...it is so profoundly dangerous [that] we are losing our tolerance for vulnerability... vulnerability is absolutely at the core of fear and anxiety and shame and very difficult emotions that we all experience. But vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, of love, of belonging, of creativity, of faith. And… Continue Reading

  • TEENAGERS; PARENTING IS TOUGH WORK

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
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    "Remember that too much obedience will end up in spite." - Fritz Perls "When you are a parent you are asked two questions a thousand times a day. Do you love me? Are you tough enough to handle this?" - Bob Vandepol Parenting Teens Remember that acting out is the… Continue Reading

  • PARENTING ADVICE

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
    • 0

    "Motherhood had been very real, very quotidian [ordinary], a primal human relationship, full of devotion and effort and strain, fraught with bitter calculation and the intimate battle of wills." - from Holy Fire by Bruce Sterling "The realities of well-intentioned workaholic households don't always favor healthy child-rearing" - Mike Linderman… Continue Reading

  • MOVIES YOU CAN LEARN FROM

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
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    "Trash has given us an appetite for art." - Pauline Kael Note: Six terrific movies that capture the victim, rescuer, persecutor drama triangle are listed on the manipulation page of this website. It's worth the effort to educate yourself about this game before you see the movies. It's a game… Continue Reading

  • HAPPINESS & HOW TO LIVE BETTER

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
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    "The world was meant for you and me To figure out our destiny(A Thousand Beautiful Things) To Live,To Die,To Breathe,To Sleep,To try to make your life complete- Lyrics from the song A Thousand Beautiful Things by Annie Lennox Happiness: Happiness is not a goal. Happiness is a by-product of life… Continue Reading

  • GUILTY? (ENOUGH SELF TORTURE!!)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
    • 0

    "Guilt was not merely a weakness, it was misleading, casting one's entire life into doubt." - From Making Things Better by Anita Brookner. Guilt: Feeling Guilty? You are certainly not alone. Feeling Guilty is like suffering in the tight grasp of a python. Exaggerated guilt is a problem for a… Continue Reading

  • Forgiveness: What is it?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
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    ""To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."" - Lewis B. Smedes "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that… Continue Reading

  • UNDERSTANDING FAMILIES, CRYING & CHOICES

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 21, 2014
    • 0

    "Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern like bad wallpaper." - Friedrich Nietzsche "The family is one of nature's masterpieces." - George SantayanaFamilies are a group of people who have shared history together. When families spend time together it helps us have the opportunity to… Continue Reading