• Painful Adolescence & the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 14, 2012
    • 0

    This is a terrific movie that opens your heart layer by layer as you watch the screen. It is clear that growing up is a painful experience and that's part of what makes it feel real. The awkwardness, the living in fear of peer judgements and the reaching out to… Continue Reading

  • Awkwardness & Doing things Badly to Begin with: Great Idea!

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 8, 2012
    • 0

    Mistakes are REALLY, REALLY, REALLY important! Fear has the power to stop you from making mistakes. I write about this often because I see more & more kids struggling to avoid mistakes & the larger world. The path to independence requires mistakes. "I won't do it if I can't do… Continue Reading

  • How to Get Help to Choose a Career? or What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 16, 2012
    • 0

    Wondering what career to invest yourself in? It's hard to figure out what you might want to do for the rest of your life. It's a very daunting task. Lots of people drown in the overwhelmingness of it. Kids in college struggle with whether or not they've made the right… Continue Reading

  • Safety is Overvalued & Mistakes Ignored

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 9, 2012
    • 0

    When I was a kid playing outdoors in the 50's & early 60's none of our parents knew where we were or what we were up to. I laughed out loud, watching an early episode of Mad Men when Don Draper's daughter was spinning around with a plastic bag on… Continue Reading

  • The Hunger Games & the Reality of War

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 14, 2011
    • 0

    It has been a delight to stumble into another strong female character in Katniss, the heroine at the heart of the trilogy that begins with The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I grew up in the female heroine desert of the 60's. It's why Ripley played by Sigourney Weaver was… Continue Reading

  • Parents & their Superficial Relationships with their Adult Children

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 24, 2011
    • 0

    Intimacy requires the  authenticity of disagreement, conflict and sharing the painful bits of life. It is impossible to be close to anyone without the truths that emerge from conflict. How can you really know anyone if you just settle for the superficial? Facebook & texting are tailor-made to keep things… Continue Reading

  • Why Mothers & Daughters Fight

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 10, 2011
    • 0

    Mothers & daughters fight the most of any parenting pair. Fathers usually have no idea what to do about it and feel helpless or disgusted. What are Teen girls so unhappy about with their mothers? I hear the same refrain; "She doesn't understand me." "She doesn't have a clue who… Continue Reading

  • Creativity in an Ordinary Way; that Anyone Can Do (besides blogging)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 14, 2010
    • 0

    One of the things I'm proudest of is that I've kept journals for both my children since they arrived. It used to be hard, 27 years ago to find neat blank books to write in. Now there are buckets of choices in every bookstore. When we traveled I was always… Continue Reading

  • A Small Story of Great Parenting

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 6, 2010
    • 0

    Great parenting is about seeing the true uniqueness of your child. Seeing who they are as an individual, different from who you might have imagined they would end up being. Our favorite five-year old is Emma, the daughter of a woman who works part-time for my husband. Emma’s mother told… Continue Reading

  • Parenting & Expectations

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 25, 2010
    • 0

    Expectations have a way of snarling up all relationships. We have ideas of who partners are supposed to be & of who we should be. We have ideas of who our children should be (SAFE roars in the heads of those who parent adolescents) and of who we will be… Continue Reading