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dating, date, course, date better

Date better means DATE SMART. After more than 40 years of working with people & over 4 years of podcasting on relationships I’d like to help people who are discouraged by dating to be less frustrated, to make better choices about what you really want & to have the skills to become more confident. In the 2017 census 45.2% of the population was single & getting the results you want can be very difficult when you date.

Intimacy can seem hard to find when you date and it is my belief that the more you are authentic by talking about hard thinga, the better off your future will be. Certainly in this culture of anxiety that is not always easy. I want to give you a new approach when you date to create better outcomes.

Learn how to be more whole so you can earn more respect. Take this course to learn more about communicating your wants & needs when you date. Learn not to swallow blame when someone is hurtful or insensitive. When you are able to manage your own fears & anxieties, then you can share & be more authentic. Consider how to be more confident & how to stop sabotaging yourself so you end up more successful when you date.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage Anais Nin


Dating is such a tricky business. Everybody decides to give up at some point. People tell you, what a great time they had, and then they disappear and you never hear from them again. It’s frustrating. You end up barraging yourself with your own thought police, that says, well, what did I do wrong? I can’t understand it. 

And examining yourself with a microscope, trying to figure out what you need to do differently the next time. Not really the answer. Dating is a dance with someone else in uncertainty. What can you do about that? To feel okay, if you work toward more certainty within yourself, the more bearable, the messiness of dating will be. 

Becoming more anchored, more whole within you is really a big part of the answer. You can make the distinction of wanting someone, instead of needing someone. You won’t want too much, too fast & you won’t settle for too little.

You’ll have more clarity about what’s enough, and most important, you must learn to be open, authentic, and vulnerable. When you are stuck in feeling rejected, frustrated and discouraged  then everyone goes on the defense and decides to jump into rejecting first, hiding behind walls, really picking at why the other person isn’t good enough.  

The research shows, being more open is what works, and that requires feeling good about you. So you need to find your courage, to pull a lot of weeds. The more whole you are, the more weeds you can tackle. Join me to learn more about how to go about it.

  1. What do you have to lose? If you are searching for long term loving then you need them to know who you really are.
  2. Accept it is your job to make yourself understood on a date.Think of responsibility as the ability to respond.
  3. The freedom to be yourself is a wonderful thing. The more authentic you arena your life, the better off you will be. Of course being authentic includes knowing when it’s time to grow up & face when you need to improve as a human being.
  4. The best way to cope with the uncertainty of a date is to be more certain about who you are. This includes developing your own sense of integrity to the table when you date.
  5. When you fly “below the radar” as a way of pretending you are safe, then you really are just hiding your light under a bushel barrel. Things are far more interesting when you share your unique point of view.

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This was my first time doing a course for therapy. I haven’t had lots of luck with romantic relationships and got to the point where I was done with them completely. This course helped me progress even further in the comfort of my own home & I never got bored or frustrated with it. The exercises and homework let you further explore and confront your problem spots while giving you tools to improve. It addressed a lot of aspects of relationships. With it, I have been able to improve myself. It helped me gain more self respect, confidence, improved mental health and ways to deal with problems when they occur. I can finally say I’m ready to take another chance with dating and see where it goes.

R. Porter

Rhoda shares the insights I needed in a direct, blunt yet kind way that helped me feel better about myself. She breaks down big changes into manageable steps that I can make happen. Really down to earth. Really good & worth it!


I learned I’m an anxious attacher & how I’ve gone after distancers instead of controlling my own anxiety to wait for someone worthwhile. The dating course explained a lot about why things haven’t worked out for me in the past.


Dating has been so discouraging to me. Rhoda’s course gave me hope again & new ways to think so that I can get out of my own way! I learned a lot.


Dating isn’t easy to keep doing. I love the idea of practicing being more authentic on dates. Thinking more about how I push people away was really helpful. Really glad I took the course & think I’ll try another one!


I felt really bad about myself because I’ve been with 2 manipulative partners. I don’t believe I really recognized I had choices until taking this course. What a lot to learn about drama!


I learned a lot about finding my own voice. I made too many excuses for people & forgave so easily that I began to feel lost & invisible. I feel like now I have a fresh start because of the course.


I especially appreciated all the ways to think about having true power within myself. It’s been a long road to having more self respect but Rhoda’s course gave me new ways to think about it & practical ideas to pursue.