Expectations, Cinderella and Bitterness

The Disney version of fairytales sanitizes them, increases expectations and defuses reality. The harsher truths offered in fairy tales were comforting to me growing up, there was the smell of reality about them. When you read about the greed that leads a stepsister to chop off her toes to fit in the glass slipper, you are more prepared for a difficult world. If you count on the Disney version of life you will obsess upon how this wasn’t supposed to happen to me or things shouldn’t be this way instead of taking action. Profound sadness that your expectations weren’t met is to not accept the harsh reality that life turns on a dime. Thank you Brothers Grimm! If Cinderella had walked to the ball she could have danced all night. She did not require a fairy godmother to set up false expectations of needing to be taken care of instead of finding the courage to look within to solve difficulties. The animated movie version sets up expectations that haunt girls their entire lifetime. Too many women feel their life means less without a man. These women often miss out on the excitement of defining themselves.


Bitterness is the result of unmet expectations as a pattern over time. Bitterness is a very dangerous path that very few ever return from. I remember our family’s dance teacher who described leaving her studio in Hawaii to care for her sick mom in Pittsburgh. She appeared to be perpetually sad at having left her life behind. Bitterness can become a very unfortunate way of life.

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