• Lies We Tell Ourselves

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 12, 2009
    • 0

    [caption id="attachment_41" align="alignright" width="166" caption="The Good Apprentice, by Iris Murdoch"][/caption] Moments of despair bring us closer to hard truths. We all pretend. We pretend someone we love isn't crazy, an alcoholic, or hasn't betrayed our friendship. We pretend we aren't crazy, or alcoholic or haven't betrayed a friend. In 2008… Continue Reading

  • Expectations, Cinderella and Bitterness

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 10, 2009
    • 0

    The Disney version of fairytales sanitizes them, increases expectations and defuses reality. The harsher truths offered in fairy tales were comforting to me growing up, there was the smell of reality about them. When you read about the greed that leads a stepsister to chop off her toes to fit… Continue Reading

  • Expectations Kill Off Relationships Every Day

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 10, 2009
    • 0

    We have evolved into a culture that encourages ridiculous expectations. Every one should own a house regardless of the reality of their debt. 2009 has evolved into a year of accepting greater reality and reducing our expectations. This is a good thing. 2008 was a well deserved reality check on… Continue Reading

  • Obama, Duality and Relationships

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 7, 2009
    • 0

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MVtE7C-YVc] President Obama's speech (2/25/09) to Congress acknowledged the duality so often present in life and relationships. The sentence that struck me contained two: "We are a nation that has seen promise amid peril, and claimed opportunity from ordeal." Duality is exactly what makes relationships both exciting and tough places… Continue Reading

  • Women: Listen to Yourselves

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 5, 2009
    • 0

    [caption id="attachment_21" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Top Chef Finale"][/caption] I watched the final episode of Top Chef with great anticipation, only to watch Carla who could cook with both soul & talent lose the contest. She lost as so many women do, by not listening to herself. It was heart breaking to… Continue Reading

  • First, Accept Yourself

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 23, 2009
    • 0

    One of the best parts of life is sharing the ride over decades with somebody else. It is also true that finding someone worthwhile is a difficult task. The old adage learn to love yourself first is true. Loving yourself/self esteem is not built upon positive thoughts or heaps of… Continue Reading

  • 20 Things to Be Wary of When Dating

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 12, 2009
    • 0

    1. Manipulation and Blame Someone stuck in the Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor game, someone who is obsessed with manipulating others, or is an active addict is really always looking for an audience. (Note how the main character is manipulated by the wealthiest woman in town in Empire Falls by Richard Russo).… Continue Reading

  • Welcome to Rhoda’s Relationship Realities Blog

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 12, 2009
    • 0

    This blog was started as an extension of my therapyidea Ideas Website. It is for people who want to learn more about themselves, using a foundation of ideas from therapyidea along with books and movies from popular culture. After more than thirty years of working with people, I want to… Continue Reading

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