• Disappointments, Broken Dreams, Expectations & Avoiding Reality

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 17, 2012
    • 0

    There is a HUGE GAP between our expectations & reality. We are all experts at avoiding reality because it is often harsh. A lot of therapyidea is finding the courage to face reality & make the pain bearable. I've found facing reality to be life affirming. One instance might be;… Continue Reading

  • Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 10, 2011
    • 0

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx9ocubowMs&fs=1&hl=en_US] This you tube video ia all about love. Authentic love is all about embracing the imperfections of someone else. So many of my younger clients seem to be on a path of requiring perfection in a partner. Nobody gets all the pieces of the pie. Too many of us… Continue Reading

  • Offer Kids Choices Instead of Indulging Them

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 9, 2010
    • 0

    I was patiently waiting to purchase my New York Times, behind a young mother with a 4 yr. old. She was purchasing pink & white sunglasses and a pink frisbee for her daughter. Her daughter meandered away and returned with a bag of cheese doodles. Her mother said "No, Grandma… Continue Reading

  • Hope is a Curse and a Blessing

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 26, 2010
    • 0

    "Hope could be more painful than despair." From Against a Dark Background by Iain M. Banks Hope is very interesting because it is crucial to our lives. We require hope to survive cancer, to cope with profound loss and to believe we will find a job when we are unemployed. Hope… Continue Reading

  • Disappointment Crushes Relationships

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 23, 2009
    • 0

    "People who suffer a lot, often times do so, because they are cognitively wrong about what they think they have a right to expect."  Abraham Maslow, psychologist   Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat,Pray,Love fame spoke in Pittsburgh last night. She was quoted in the Post Gazette: "Marriage is not a game for… Continue Reading

  • Lies We Tell Ourselves

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 12, 2009
    • 0

    [caption id="attachment_41" align="alignright" width="166" caption="The Good Apprentice, by Iris Murdoch"][/caption] Moments of despair bring us closer to hard truths. We all pretend. We pretend someone we love isn't crazy, an alcoholic, or hasn't betrayed our friendship. We pretend we aren't crazy, or alcoholic or haven't betrayed a friend. In 2008… Continue Reading

  • Expectations Kill Off Relationships Every Day

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • March 10, 2009
    • 0

    We have evolved into a culture that encourages ridiculous expectations. Every one should own a house regardless of the reality of their debt. 2009 has evolved into a year of accepting greater reality and reducing our expectations. This is a good thing. 2008 was a well deserved reality check on… Continue Reading