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Trouble in life is usually found in the extremes. So people allow sex to disappear in their relationship (10 times a year or less is considered non-sexual) or have sex with other people outside the partnership. Some therapists don't even bring up sex and explore it in session with couples. This… Continue Reading
I love vacations at Chautauqua Institution because there is the opportunity to go to lectures. Lectures are important to me because I love new ideas and other ways of thinking. On August 3rd we heard Richard Brown, who teaches Film 101 at NYU. He asks all his students to not… Continue Reading
It seems I meet more and more people who are comfortable with taking the easy way out, like water seeking a down hill path. Teens who avoid looking for a summer job. Teens who casually announce they "don't do food service jobs". College grads who expect to walk into well… Continue Reading
It's so easy to fall into the trap of believing that feelings contain the secrets of your life. The truth is feelings are often exaggerated, deceitful, deceptive, defensive,indulgent, tricky, self-promoting and above all, manipulative. Feelings can drag you around like a Neanderthal man. Feelings are not the end-all or be-all.… Continue Reading
Guilt is a complicated business because there are two sides to it. Of course, there is a good aspect to guilt. Guilt is supposed to be a pinch to remind us to do the right thing even if we don't feel like it. Guilt is like the penalty fee on… Continue Reading
In the beginning couples are attracted to the differences in each other. This is because, somewhere deep down we know that two sets of differences make up a greater whole. This is why Charlie Brown and Lucy spend so much time together in the comics. Life will be more interesting… Continue Reading
It is a challenge to let go when all you want to do is hang on and control. Let's begin with why people hang onto control. The kooky things we do always make sense (which is the title of the 4/09/09 entry on this blog). Being in control provides people… Continue Reading
I was on a plane circling JFK due to bad weather when the man next to me engaged me in conversation. He was the CEO of a small company that had just hired a psychologist to consult. He prided himself on soliciting input from the staff beneath him and he… Continue Reading
First Lady Jenny Sanford said: “Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay. But he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly… Continue Reading
There's an old joke that women like silent men because they think they're listening. My experience is that the opposite is true. When men are silent about their wants everyone suffers. Women are often able to talk to their girlfriends about everything and anything (Sex in the City is evidence… Continue Reading
