• Control, What is it We Love?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 17, 2015
    • 0

    We all love Control or else you are lying to yourself. What is Control? One simple word: POWER. We insist we are right. We love the simplicity of winning. Nobody wants to be bothered with the messiness we might both be right. There are soooo many ways to win. We… Continue Reading

  • Couples Never Fighting=Not a Good Thing

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 22, 2015
    • 0

    "I’m not ready to make nice, I’m not ready to back down." The Dixie Chicks If you never fight, then nobody’s home. Trouble in relationships is always about the extremes. It's just as problematic as fighting all the time because both lack respect for two people. Often couples arrive in… Continue Reading

  • It’s Hard to Live with Someone Who Lacks Empathy

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 20, 2015
    • 0

    Empathy is defined as the "intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another" (dic.com). Empathy is an important part of the process in bonding. When two people can imagine how the other person feels it leads to support and connectedness. Often it is men… Continue Reading

  • 80 Questions to Help Couples Practice Communication

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 20, 2015
    • 0

    When couples become parents, it can become all to easy too lose track of Who are we without the kids? The US gets lost because it's the easiest plate to drop. Taking time out just for the two of you at least twice a month really matters. If couples aren't… Continue Reading

  • Integrity is All About Self-Confrontation

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 9, 2014
    • 0

    Integrity is the difference between being nice and being good. We live in a world that too easily values nice because nice is easy to do. Good is a whole lot more hard work. The Big Bad Wolf was really nice to Little Red Riding Hood before he ate her… Continue Reading

  • Romance Relationships in the Workplace

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 22, 2014
    • 0

    I asked my friend Laurel Coppersmith M.S.W. to write a guest post because she has spent 25 years doing EAP work & 23 years in private practice. I respect her wisdom enormously: People spend 2/3's of their waking hours at work. Workplaces are highly stressful these days, and the experience… Continue Reading

  • Boundaries & How to do them

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • February 26, 2014
    • 0

    [caption id="attachment_3144" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Defenses @ Fort in India[/caption] Boundaries require you to risk being uncomfortable. Every relationship is about respecting the differences. The differences will not be respected if they remain unspoken. The discomfort is worth it because it's how you grow. You can't grow without being uncomfortable. This… Continue Reading

  • Relationships, Communication & Sharing Power

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 14, 2013
    • 0

    Think about all the arguing couples you know and ask yourself, how many of them are good at sharing power? There are many couples where one person caters to the other. Often men cater to women to make them happy in the beginning of relationships. Then there are many couples… Continue Reading

  • Lopsided Love Relationships & the novel: The Woman Upstairs

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 5, 2013
    • 0

    Relationships in love usually start out lopsided - someone loves the other more, it is the nature of relationships. The great achievement in relationships is when love evolves to be mutual and this begins with respect as the first building block. Over the long haul respect is more important than… Continue Reading

  • Relationships: 6 More Ideas to Improve Them (Part 2)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 19, 2013
    • 0

    How do you know when relationships are successful? What goals are therapists looking for when they do couples work? The following 6 ideas might improve your relationships: 1. It's crucial that both people feel able to be authentic with each other. In relationships trust matters and trust depends on authenticity.… Continue Reading