• The Relentless Quest for Happiness

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • October 3, 2009
    • 0

    "The broadly engaged mind is the source of a happy life." Bromo in That Old Ace in the Hole by Annie Proulx Once again, fine literature offers an answer so illusive to far too many. Often people arrive in my office wanting happiness. I consider this a vague generalization that… Continue Reading

  • Disappointment Crushes Relationships

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 23, 2009
    • 0

    "People who suffer a lot, often times do so, because they are cognitively wrong about what they think they have a right to expect."  Abraham Maslow, psychologist   Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat,Pray,Love fame spoke in Pittsburgh last night. She was quoted in the Post Gazette: "Marriage is not a game for… Continue Reading

  • Most of Us are Bad with Anger & Dump on the People We Love

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 20, 2009
    • 0

    When we're angry, the majority of us don't hurt strangers, we go home and hurt the people we care most about. All of us have a lot to learn about anger and too many don't bother to figure it out. My definition of grown-up love is being able to figure… Continue Reading

  • Sacrifice & Negotiation are Two Requirements When Falling in Love Later in Life

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 18, 2009
    • 0

    If someone is single a long time they are used to having things work in a certain way. If two people fall in love later in life it will require more sacrifice than either person realizes or is prepared for. Things will often fall apart because neither person is ready… Continue Reading

  • 9 Healthy Things to Look for When Dating

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 9, 2009
    • 0

    My very first blog entry on Feb.12th was 20 Things to be Wary of When Dating.  This is about the positive things to look for.  1. Do They Say What They Mean and Mean What They Say? This is the most important one. (Ask yourself  is this also true of… Continue Reading

  • Transitions are Both Unraveling & Vital

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • September 5, 2009
    • 0

    Transitions are always uncomfortable for everyone. In order to grow it is important to tolerate the discomfort, that is an ordinary part of transitions. It was the school bus driver in kindergarten, who talked me onto the yellow bus, persuading me this brand new experience would be okay. I am… Continue Reading

  • Men get Overwhelmed & Women Often don’t Notice

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 30, 2009
    • 0

    There is a common pattern in heterosexual couples that is deadly to growth and progress. Women come into the office, with a number of issues, that build up into an emotional intensity that leaves males completely overwhelmed. Men watch the emotions pile up and think to themselves "if she feels this… Continue Reading

  • Uncertainty & Empathy are Crucial for Couples Survival

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 25, 2009
    • 0

    The couples that can be toughest to work with, are those where someone has to be right, because then problems are about who wins and who loses instead of how to negotiate to take care of both people. A win/lose mentality is a shallow way to explore the inevitable irreconcilable… Continue Reading

  • Harry Hole; An Alcoholic Police Detective Worth Your Love

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 20, 2009
    • 0

    I am a therapist in part, because I love people's stories. It is an honor to be an intimate part of someones life struggles. This desire carries over into my theatre choices and my reading. I've discovered that mysteries written by writers from other countries tend to delve deeply into… Continue Reading

  • Money Problems Can So Easily Tear Couples Apart

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • August 17, 2009
    • 0

    Hopefully the positive side of the recession will be that couples learn to talk about money. This year alone, I had three wives taken completely by surprise when a sheriff foreclosure sign was put on their front door. Over the years I've had several couples who found out after their… Continue Reading

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