• Couples Fighting & the Movie Before Midnight

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • July 31, 2013
    • 0

    This movie offers a glimpse of real life in the fighting between Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy after 20 years of being together. In the first 6 to 9 years there is a lot of catering that goes on in the name of love. Then the illusions fall off &… Continue Reading

  • Authenticity Requires Work

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • July 19, 2013
    • 0

    At Chautauqua we hear lectures on vacation; David Brooks spoke about the lack of depth & inner dialogue that he finds is part of today's youth culture because there is so much focus on their "outsides". Many times in this blog I have ranted about the amount of avoiding and… Continue Reading

  • Relationships in Addictions (Understanding Codependency Works Both Ways)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 28, 2013
    • 0

    Relationships with an addictive partner often have a pattern that both partners create together. The non-addict has an enormous number of expectations with so many ideas of how life is supposed to be lived. The addict is often buried in Silence and slinks around to get their needs met through… Continue Reading

  • Divorce Spills Over On To Kids & the movie “What Maisie Knew”

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 15, 2013
    • 0

    Divorce is an opportunity for people to indulge their intensity & hoarded resentments on to everyone. Normally sane people will shriek when they meet their spouse in the grocery store. They are past caring how it looks because they are fueled by self-righteousness. Divorce is an invitation to be your… Continue Reading

  • Lopsided Love Relationships & the novel: The Woman Upstairs

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • June 5, 2013
    • 0

    Relationships in love usually start out lopsided - someone loves the other more, it is the nature of relationships. The great achievement in relationships is when love evolves to be mutual and this begins with respect as the first building block. Over the long haul respect is more important than… Continue Reading

  • Relationships: 6 More Ideas to Improve Them (Part 2)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 19, 2013
    • 0

    How do you know when relationships are successful? What goals are therapists looking for when they do couples work? The following 6 ideas might improve your relationships: 1. It's crucial that both people feel able to be authentic with each other. In relationships trust matters and trust depends on authenticity.… Continue Reading

  • RELATIONSHIPS: One Simple Step to Improve Them Part 1

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • May 6, 2013
    • 0

    Relationships are the most important part of our life and improving them matters. Making just one simple change could make a huge difference. When something bothers you our first instinct is to avoid & deflect talking about it in all our relationships. Then in our silence our self-righteousness grows. Then… Continue Reading

  • Self-Esteem & Self Image Struggles & Self Hatred

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 22, 2013
    • 0

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE&w=560&h=315] Too often self-esteem means we see ourselves in a harsh critical light. This video captures exactly how deeply we twist reality and fail to see ourselves accurately. The video made me cry because I see this struggle with self-image & disgust on a daily basis. Our culture, our… Continue Reading

  • Boundaries are about Respect in Relationships

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 14, 2013
    • 0

    What are boundaries? Boundaries are communications in relationships about what's not ok & what's ok. I tell people when they see my vast library at home, "I don't lend my books. I would rather buy you one than risk never seeing my book again." That communicates a boundary. The boundaries… Continue Reading

  • Mental Health; What Is It? What is Normal?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • April 4, 2013
    • 0

    Mental health is built upon layers of growth over time. The more honest you can be with yourself about your shortcomings the more likely you are to grow and achieve greater mental health. The more you avoid & deflect the less likely you are to achieve mental health. #1. Let's… Continue Reading

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