• Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 10, 2011
    • 0

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx9ocubowMs&fs=1&hl=en_US] This you tube video ia all about love. Authentic love is all about embracing the imperfections of someone else. So many of my younger clients seem to be on a path of requiring perfection in a partner. Nobody gets all the pieces of the pie. Too many of us… Continue Reading

  • New Website Page On Shame & Perfectionism Worth Reading

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 6, 2011
    • 0

    "Perfectionism is a 200 lb. Shield." Dr.Brene Brown In the past 3 days I've worked with 15 different people on the issue of perfectionism. I watch someone I love in life struggle with it. It's very hard to effectively change. On my previous post I embedded a TED talk by… Continue Reading

  • Vulnerability in Relationships is the Opposite of Manipulation

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • January 1, 2011
    • 0

    Manipulation of others is a great way to stay invulnerable. Manipulation is a way to hide who we really are from others. We are all a mixture of good and bad. Yet when was the last time you shared a story of being bad with someone else? When was the… Continue Reading

  • Fear of Differences and A Single Man (the movie)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 20, 2010
    • 0

    I write this to honor the end of the military ban on Gays serving openly. The 2009 movie A Single Man is brilliantly acted by Colin Firth. He plays a gay man in the 1960's whose partner of 16 years dies in an accident and he considers taking his own… Continue Reading

  • Creativity in an Ordinary Way; that Anyone Can Do (besides blogging)

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 14, 2010
    • 0

    One of the things I'm proudest of is that I've kept journals for both my children since they arrived. It used to be hard, 27 years ago to find neat blank books to write in. Now there are buckets of choices in every bookstore. When we traveled I was always… Continue Reading

  • Kids Coping with Complicated Sharing After Divorce & Why Truth Matters More

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 10, 2010
    • 0

    Kids share their parents with new boyfriends & girlfriends, parents share their kids with their ex's new lovers, and kids learn to have new stepsisters and stepbrothers. It's all a very complicated business that is often not done very well. There are too many assumptions about how easy this is… Continue Reading

  • Is There ANY Benefit to Divorce for the Kids?

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • December 4, 2010
    • 0

    Working with several divorced families recently made me seriously consider this question. It's obvious that divorce is difficult for children because their whole world collapses. Often the imprint of divorce leaves major trust issues. It is ordinary for an adolescent with divorced parents to say "I'll never get married." Yet… Continue Reading

  • The Next Three Days & the Refreshing Aspect of Class

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 27, 2010
    • 0

    I loved this movie for embracing the  working class background of Pittsburgh. We pretend that there is not an issue of class in America. So as Americans we are "off the hook" and don't think about it a whole lot, while the gap between the haves and the have-nots grows… Continue Reading

  • It’s Deadly to be Either Too Nice or Too Demanding

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 16, 2010
    • 0

    Nice guys finish last in relationships. This means you aren't making enough clear statements about who you are and what you want. Too often nice guys will hide their own wants in a question. So they ask, "Will you have the kids fed?" instead of the more authentic statement, "I'd… Continue Reading

  • Infidelity & Complicatedness

    • Rhoda Mills Sommer
    • November 8, 2010
    • 0

    Infidelity is never a simple matter. Brothers & Sisters has done a good job of illustrating this in last night's show "Resolved" aired 11/07/10.  Too many people simplify affairs into bad guy/good guy. Yes, Scotty admits he was WRONG in capital letters and he has a story to tell about… Continue Reading

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