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You might wonder what Picasso, Ben Roethlisberger and Mel Gibson have in common? They are all men who ended up with power, fame and a reputation for abuse in relationships. Narcissism means other people are merely the audience. This is not about a diagnosis of narcissism, it is about the… Continue Reading
The previous post briefly described the emotional toll the game of Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor costs any relationship. I offer my triangle of mental health: First and foremost, a fearless honesty requires a willingness to look within and take responsibility for your mistakes and problems. Instead of blaming the other… Continue Reading
In the 1970's, Transactional Analysis created an emotional game that was labeled The Karpman Drama Triangle which is still relevant today. It looks like this: The game is profound because it is a way to manipulate over a lifetime and deceive many people. Drama, intensity and power are very seductive… Continue Reading
This post is for young women. I see it as improving their relationship with themselves because history matters. Mad Men just began Season 4 on July 25 on AMC. Without question, it's the best drama currently on tv. As a boomer, I delight in the accurate memories; like a kid… Continue Reading
Last week a client asked me why so many women give up on their sex life. Last week I told a female client who is 35 years old, that she was missing out on her sexual peak because she is too tired to sort things out with her husband. Many… Continue Reading
[caption id="attachment_1109" align="aligncenter" width="425" caption="Broken Up or Cocaine Addict?"][/caption] The brain is where it's at in terms of making psychotherapyidea more effective. Brain research is so exciting it's almost enough to make me want to start my career over again. One of the most difficult things I encounter is when… Continue Reading
I was lucky enough to work with women in prison and jail. I learned a lot about how hard it can be to maneuver a place for yourself in the world after making disastrous mistakes. Mistakes about a man's character, mistakes in judgement, mistakes in making impulsive decisions, mistakes born… Continue Reading
One of my objectives in couples therapyidea is trying to encourage both people to feel safe enough to speak from a more vulnerable place. This can be very hard to do because of defensiveness and a history of unresolved problems. There is some exciting new research that may help couples… Continue Reading
[caption id="attachment_1047" align="aligncenter" width="460"] Miramax[/caption] Like Uma Thurman, who is buried alive in Kill Bill 2, so many people squelch their life energy in too many 'shoulds'. 'Shoulds' can feed guilt, perfectionism, depression and codependency. 'Shoulds', rob relationships of too many necessary truths. I watch people struggle, because it seems… Continue Reading
Witnessing profound pain is something I do every day. I've literally spent decades doing it. I've been at the hospital with rape victims, visiting women in prison, with children and adults who have been violently sexually abused and want no one to know who did it, with parents who've lost… Continue Reading
